McCain and Abel

John McCain has won South Carolina. That's right, the state that dealt the Mac a crushing blow just four years ago has (narrowly) accepted him into their hearts. Where did the good doctor fall on this first of the southern states, this test of the minds of the evangelicals?

Fourth. Ron Paul got fourth.

And while it's not looking especially good for the one whose supporters call the "savior of the constitution, Dr. Paul did come 2nd only to Mitt Romney in a state half-filled with mormons. Not too bad, considering. It may have been a distant second, but remember, this was a state that less than half a century ago hauled pot dealers to jail for life with no questions asked.

Not a bad sign.

Perhaps most amazing is the sign that the Huckabeast's drive to conquer the south may have been stopped short on yesterday's important vote. Keep in mind that Huckabee is supposedly the voice of the evangelical community (despite the fact that Rat Pobertson supported another fellow rodent, Rudy Guiliani, whose upturned nose, squinty eyes, and clever position changes place his appearance somewhere between a ferret and a weasel).

Some people say that Dr. Paul's contention for the hearts of the Republicans (whose minds and original party precepts have been turned upside down by way of Papa Strauss' Neo-Conservative movement), is a fool's wager.

After seeing some of the opening primaries, they may be right. (FULL DISCLOSURE: The author of this very blog is a wickedly insane Dr. Paul supporter of the most distant fringe, but even we asylum patients have to admit that perhaps our victory will come not in getting the Doctor elected president, but in reminding the American public that their government was based off of a piece of paper called the Constitution.) The people that irk me are not the whole body of naysayers, but instead, the sub-group of naysayers who support the rodent mentioned above.

How can the Republicans possibly vote for a candidate who once attempted to blame criminal activity on gun companies? Moreover, how can the evangelicals believe in a man twice divorced--a man who has children that won't speak to him? Fool's wager indeed. If you want to call Ron Paul a joke, there's only one Republican you can stand behind to make that claim...and that man is John McCain.

Romney, you ask? I shudder in fear. If Mitt Romney takes the presidency, this nation is as surely doomed as David Broder's head is domed. But nay--I have faith in the south. If such a state as South Carolina would reject McCain just four years ago only to lead him under the shade of the Palmetto, surely states like Alabama and Mississippi will lead him under the shade of the majestic--uh--swampgrass that would protect him from the radioactive orange glow of Romney's billion candela faux-tan.

New Hampshire is a nice win for the Mac as well, but keep in mind the oddity that is New Hampshire; after all, Pat Buchanan (think Ron Paul only with less gynecologist and more Guy Fawkes, more gun waving and less net flaming) won that state's primary in 1996.

But I stand on my position: if you're going to put money on a Republican winner, that man is John McCain.

If you're a democrat, that man is Senator Hillary Clinton. Yes, if the ever-whining democrats win this time, it looks like another dynastic turn in the executive party of our country. Obama supporters are wearing blinders if they think that Barack can win the south. He can't. After all--there were female plantation owners.

This editor is going to take plenty of flack for that comment (yet not as much as a certain editor who decided to decorate their sports magazine cover with the most apparently poignant of all racial symbols--the noose), but as badly as Democrats want to jail me for even bringing the point up, the truth will be evident after Super-Duper-Ultra-Funtastic-Extravanganza Tuesday. If I were a registered democrat, you can bet that I would be voting for Obama, the lesser of two evils on a socialist front where everyone gets free healthcare for nothing, but the point of this is that I don't represent the south. I'm just calling it as I hear it--and as I hear it, it's usually sung to the tune of "I ain't gonna vote for no (racial slur)." It's sad, but it's the truth.

I see plenty of Hillary signs here in South Carolina. I see plenty of McCain and Romney signs. I see Ron Paul signs and Mike Huckabee signs. I even see the occasional John Edwards banners flying. Guess whose signs I don't see? (No, I'm not talking about Duncan Hunter.)

So again, my scoreboard for the week opening January 20th:
McCain 2:1
Romney 5:2
Huckabee 8:1
Paul 10:1
Giuliani Snow Leopard:Weasel
Thompson Snowstorm: Miami in July

Hillary 5:4
Obama JOKE CENSORED BY ACLU AND NAACP ON PAIN OF EDITOR'S CAREER DEATH
Edwards Ex-Marine stepfather:Red-headed stepchild (see how stuff like that slips right by the ACLU?)

Bloomberg 10 more Seasons of American Idol:Success of own reality TV show titled "Late Bloomers"


COMING SOON...
As our economy tanks, more and more business deals are going down in favor of international interests. If you think we turned into a corporate police state in this decade, make way for the future as our nation becomes a financial melting pot--the stock of which will be poured into a delicious american pot pie and divided amongst our hungry foreign investors...

According to H.R. 1955, this post will count me as a terrorist

I am so getting shipped to Guantanamo for this one.