ARTHUR BRANCH CHOKES ON THE OPEN NET

Well Arthur Branch, you've come a long way since your humble days as the D.A. of New York. You were once just a County Sheriff in whatever crap state Roseanne was supposed to have taken place in.

But after you finally appeared on national TV against dynamic powerhouses like faith-based comedy man and prolific rocker Mike Huckabee, and Mitt Romney--with hair so perfect and skin so flourescent orange that he makes even retired college and pro-football coach Jimmy Johnson weep--you dropped in the polls.

Why is that, Fred?
Is it because you're not Ronald Reagan?
Is it because Nixon dissed you back in the day?
Is it because you avoided the first couple of debates?

No.
It is because your FAIL quotient on the podium even bought Guiliani a few more votes.