Rolling Stone's 999th issue has art of our president sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on. The article inside has a historian giving reasons as to why George W. Bush may be the worst president we've ever had. After reading the article, I can't say I disagree.
However, I hold fast to what I've been saying since 2002. Our president is not a bad person. He's simply a terrible president and a piss poor leader. With my limited knowledge of Dubya's life, let me try and recreate his motivations, his determination, and his good intentions sinking in the bog of his pre-presidential charmed life and subsequent failure as a national leader.
Pre-Prez Days
First off, Bush was the eldest son of his family. As is the way of tradition, in rich families (nobility,) the eldest son is expected to fill the shoes of his father, so even in his youth Bush felt tremendous pressure to succeed, from generations of the Bush family dating to colonial times, and the honorable Fairbanks name from which they came.
Despite lacking ability in the academic world, Bush went to prep school before attending college at Yale, where he recieved a Bachelor of Arts in History. This was a tremendous success for Dubya, considering his strong C-average. Yale accepted Bush not for his academic excellence, but for his fortitude of spirit.
Following his Yale career, Bush spent time in the Texas Air National Guard defending the Gulf Coast, should the bloodthirsty peoples of the Carribean have assualted our nation during the conflict overseas in Vietnam.
After a short yet glorious military career in which he achieved the rank of First Lieutenant, Bush returned to a much needed educational environment at Harvard, where he received his MBA.
Despite all this, his successes in the worlds of academics, commerce, and defense could not match his father's. This gave Bush the determination he needed to enter politics and not only match up with, but surpass George Sr.'s achievements.
Jesus Saves
As he would probably tell you, George Bush isn't a good man because of George Bush. He's a good man because of Jesus. Ever since he gave his life to the 2000-year-old messiah in 1986, he's been following Christ's teachings to the letter.
Under his governorship of Texas, Bush oversaw the execution of 150 people, including one Karla Faye Tucker who pleaded for clemency on the grounds that she was born again. Bush's response? Openly mocking her plea by relating a pouted face and the words "Please don't kill me."
What would Jesus do? Well, to be fair, if he grew up in Texas with a wealthy family (and was never taught values like hard work, forgiveness, and humanity), Jesus probably would have fried people in the ol' brain scrambler and made fun of their requests for mercy, too.
Bush is steadfast in his peity. Considering his past, it's no wonder that he clings so closely to the hope of a happy afterlife through repentance. No other action in his life would save him from protestant hellfire.
Good Humor
Bush's single most redeeming quality is his ability to find laughter and the positive side in any situation, whether that means showing the lighter side of executing criminals, or being optimistic about seeing the light at the end of the infinitely narrow tunnel of Iraq.
Bush has the ability to make us laugh as well. All it takes is for one to listen to an improv of Dubya going off script during one of his speeches. While some people compare Dubya to an almost Orwellian tyrant, the opposite is true. If we recall 1984, Big Brother kept removing words from the dictionary. Dubya says NO! We should ADD words to the dictionary. If nothing else, this proves Dubya's commitment to freedom of speech--being able to say whatever you want to say on national television during an address to the Nation, even if what you're saying doesn't make grammatical sense.
See, Bush isn't all bad. He may not do the right things for America and he may not really follow Jesus, but he sure has confessed his love for both repeatedly. It's the intention that counts. Most important is his personal defense of freedom of speech--he isn't afraid to say things that would otherwise make our president appear as if he didn't ever receive his high school diploma.
There are worse things than Bush. Many of them involve salt, open wounds, and cattle prods.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Daily News 110-6
Ladies and Gentlemen, some daily fodder for this, the 110th day of 2006.
Hu's The Boss
Iran So Far Away
Proud to be an Unemployed American
Hu Jintao in the House
The Chinese are more than happy to offer help in defusing Iran and North Korea, but President Hu Jintao is recommending a peaceful and diplomatic solution to the problems. In the meantime, many nations from the EU are expressing concerns about Iran's nuclear program, concerns that are bordering on classical American paranoia.
China seems to be in a very cool position lately, an economic powerhouse with few worries about military and industrial strength. China has been reforming and restructuring heavily since the mid-1990's especially, and has taken a progressive stance on economics while keeping sight on socialist tradition by maintaining their grip on social outlets.
We whine about civil liberties and human rights issues in China, but in the past 5 years or so, our record with prisoners, domestic spying, executive power, and political organization have not fared so well as we'd like to believe. Part of having pride about one's own country is having pride enough to admit weaknesses so that they can be corrected.
China isn't a pet of Western Trade any longer. Hu Jintao has made it clear that while China is more than happy to moderate discussions and help to reach diplomatic resolutions, it will not be taking orders from outsiders any longer. The most fascinating part of this message is how it was delivered-- calmly and matter of fact. The aggression of China will not make itself known with guns and bombs, but instead with stocks, corporations, and currency.
Iran's Pre-Game
Let's say you're any small country which a large super-powered country has labeled part of an "axis of evil." Let's also say that this large super-powered country has a very recent record of entering a country, knocking out what little infrastructure is there, eradicating the organization of any existing security forces, and held ground to oversee the rebuilding of that country. Let's say that one of its recent targets was your next door neighbor.
Now let's also say that as a small country, you're trying to modernize technology, communication, and other infrastructures for your people while trying to maintain tradition and a unique way of life.
NOW, let's say that the super-powered country and all its friends are threatening to halt trade with you if you don't allow them to take part in augmenting your energy infrastructure. Let's add the fact that the U.N. is actually swaying to the side of the super-powered country this time.
Read all of the above again in quick review, and then decide-- what would you do?
1) Adhere to what the outsiders tell you, let them influence your people with cross-culture and anti-establishment propaganda, allowing them to take an interest in the resources your country has,
2) Resist the outsiders and politely tell them that your energy infrastrcture is none of thier damn business, but that you would be happy to offer open inspections and communications to discuss any doubts,
3) Keep from directly dealing with the outsiders and trust in your few allies to help you reach a diplomatic solution that's acceptable to the interests of your country and its people,
4) Let the world know with strong words that you are dedicated to peace, but that you will not respond to threats, nor will you compromise your way of life to those who seek to erode it. Let your enemies know that you will brook no aggression, but also that you will fight to the bitter end no matter the odds if you are invaded.
5) Start slinging sticks and stones and guarantee that your enemies will revisit you with 10 times worse.
I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like 4 is the most probable position. Iran doesn't want to go to war. It doesn't want to prove its determination and faith through blood, but it has made its point clear that if circumstances call for it, the proof will be assured through its actions.
If bomb matches bomb, we'll wipe out the ORGANIZED military of Iran just as quickly as we wiped out the ORGANIZED military of Iraq. But organized military resistance hasn't really ever been a problem in the Middle East, has it?
Let me put it this way. How many American Soldiers were killed by the Iraqi Republican Guard during our invasion? Now compare that number to those who were killed by unaligned insurgents...
These colors may not run, but they also don't listen, they don't logic, and they don't respect cultural differences within or without the country. Bravery doesn't mean shit if you're a bigoted dumbass with a sense of nationalism so vivid that makes you blind and deaf.
Automotiv-ation and Self-Help
Unions don't help if your company is losing money. Unions don't help when your company is moving its jobs to another country. Unions really don't help the workers when a company is struggling for survival.
GM isn't doing too well lately, other American Automotive industries are cutting back production and variety, and the Federal Government cares about GM as much as it cares about national education.
Everytime a U.S. plant gets shut down, it's rarely because the company is doing poorly--or so we're told. The reason behind plant closings usually comes down to "restructuring."
Well, guess when you need to restructure? When you're not making as much money as you used to. When people aren't buying your prodcuts as much. When people are realizing the quality and efficiency of your components and products are being swallowed up by the great American Mediocrity.
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers--find the item in Wal-Mart that's still actually manufactured in America, and you get the Sam Walton medal of industrial morality.
Next week, this Blog will not be written by me--we're outsourcing the authorship to someone with a better education, work ethic, personal sense of pride, professionalism, and experience with English.
Next week we come live to you from Hyderabad...and don't blame the outsourced employees. Blame the dollar, because that's what employment comes down to.
This has been your daily news for the 110th day of 2006.
Hu's The Boss
Iran So Far Away
Proud to be an Unemployed American
Hu Jintao in the House
The Chinese are more than happy to offer help in defusing Iran and North Korea, but President Hu Jintao is recommending a peaceful and diplomatic solution to the problems. In the meantime, many nations from the EU are expressing concerns about Iran's nuclear program, concerns that are bordering on classical American paranoia.
China seems to be in a very cool position lately, an economic powerhouse with few worries about military and industrial strength. China has been reforming and restructuring heavily since the mid-1990's especially, and has taken a progressive stance on economics while keeping sight on socialist tradition by maintaining their grip on social outlets.
We whine about civil liberties and human rights issues in China, but in the past 5 years or so, our record with prisoners, domestic spying, executive power, and political organization have not fared so well as we'd like to believe. Part of having pride about one's own country is having pride enough to admit weaknesses so that they can be corrected.
China isn't a pet of Western Trade any longer. Hu Jintao has made it clear that while China is more than happy to moderate discussions and help to reach diplomatic resolutions, it will not be taking orders from outsiders any longer. The most fascinating part of this message is how it was delivered-- calmly and matter of fact. The aggression of China will not make itself known with guns and bombs, but instead with stocks, corporations, and currency.
Iran's Pre-Game
Let's say you're any small country which a large super-powered country has labeled part of an "axis of evil." Let's also say that this large super-powered country has a very recent record of entering a country, knocking out what little infrastructure is there, eradicating the organization of any existing security forces, and held ground to oversee the rebuilding of that country. Let's say that one of its recent targets was your next door neighbor.
Now let's also say that as a small country, you're trying to modernize technology, communication, and other infrastructures for your people while trying to maintain tradition and a unique way of life.
NOW, let's say that the super-powered country and all its friends are threatening to halt trade with you if you don't allow them to take part in augmenting your energy infrastructure. Let's add the fact that the U.N. is actually swaying to the side of the super-powered country this time.
Read all of the above again in quick review, and then decide-- what would you do?
1) Adhere to what the outsiders tell you, let them influence your people with cross-culture and anti-establishment propaganda, allowing them to take an interest in the resources your country has,
2) Resist the outsiders and politely tell them that your energy infrastrcture is none of thier damn business, but that you would be happy to offer open inspections and communications to discuss any doubts,
3) Keep from directly dealing with the outsiders and trust in your few allies to help you reach a diplomatic solution that's acceptable to the interests of your country and its people,
4) Let the world know with strong words that you are dedicated to peace, but that you will not respond to threats, nor will you compromise your way of life to those who seek to erode it. Let your enemies know that you will brook no aggression, but also that you will fight to the bitter end no matter the odds if you are invaded.
5) Start slinging sticks and stones and guarantee that your enemies will revisit you with 10 times worse.
I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like 4 is the most probable position. Iran doesn't want to go to war. It doesn't want to prove its determination and faith through blood, but it has made its point clear that if circumstances call for it, the proof will be assured through its actions.
If bomb matches bomb, we'll wipe out the ORGANIZED military of Iran just as quickly as we wiped out the ORGANIZED military of Iraq. But organized military resistance hasn't really ever been a problem in the Middle East, has it?
Let me put it this way. How many American Soldiers were killed by the Iraqi Republican Guard during our invasion? Now compare that number to those who were killed by unaligned insurgents...
These colors may not run, but they also don't listen, they don't logic, and they don't respect cultural differences within or without the country. Bravery doesn't mean shit if you're a bigoted dumbass with a sense of nationalism so vivid that makes you blind and deaf.
Automotiv-ation and Self-Help
Unions don't help if your company is losing money. Unions don't help when your company is moving its jobs to another country. Unions really don't help the workers when a company is struggling for survival.
GM isn't doing too well lately, other American Automotive industries are cutting back production and variety, and the Federal Government cares about GM as much as it cares about national education.
Everytime a U.S. plant gets shut down, it's rarely because the company is doing poorly--or so we're told. The reason behind plant closings usually comes down to "restructuring."
Well, guess when you need to restructure? When you're not making as much money as you used to. When people aren't buying your prodcuts as much. When people are realizing the quality and efficiency of your components and products are being swallowed up by the great American Mediocrity.
Attention Wal-Mart shoppers--find the item in Wal-Mart that's still actually manufactured in America, and you get the Sam Walton medal of industrial morality.
Next week, this Blog will not be written by me--we're outsourcing the authorship to someone with a better education, work ethic, personal sense of pride, professionalism, and experience with English.
Next week we come live to you from Hyderabad...and don't blame the outsourced employees. Blame the dollar, because that's what employment comes down to.
This has been your daily news for the 110th day of 2006.
Friday, April 14, 2006
WEEK 15 REVIEW
Ladies and Gentlemen, your week in review for this, the 15th week of 2006.
Gens Say Rumsfeld Should Fold
Bird Flu on the Atlantic
Rummy the Dummy
Six Generals are now calling for the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld, the United States Secretary of Defense. Of course I picked up a New York Times this morning when I saw the headline "More Retired Generals Call For Rumsfeld's Resignation." How could one resist? For all of you with those "Support Our Troops" magnets on the backs of your vehicles, paired with a W '04 sticker, read very VERY carefully:
"My sincere view is that the commitment of our forces to this fight was done with a casualness and swagger that are the special province of those who have never had to execute these missions--or bury the results. The troops in the Middle East have performed their duty. Now we need people in Washington who can construct a unified strategy worthy of them."
Words from Lt. General Gregory Newbold, the Director of Operations in the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Cutting words from a man who knows what the war is. Time published these words just a week ago.
Now I return to my intended audience--the supporters of this Administration. You're telling me to support our troops as well as supporting our President and his Cabinet--so I'm telling you that's as easily done as lighting an ice cube on fire. Here's my call to you: support the troops, or support the idiots killing them while they sit at their desks and stand at their podiums repeating the "Freedom isn't free" mantra. Choose carefully, because it can't be both.
When Ashcroft dropped from the cabinet in January 2005, I was praying that Rumsfeld would do the same. Now, with support from the true military leaders, perhaps we'll have another chance.
An Avian Update
Guess what, gang? The dreaded Avian Flu has reached Egypt, Holland, and Scotland...which means that isolated incidents have pushed as far west as the Atlantic Ocean. No one seems to be flipping out too badly. The question is in the lottery of the virus possibly jumping hosts and infecting humans at devastating rates. Given that it's gotten across the biggest land mass in the world without becoming a deep red-alert top-prioirty issue, that means one of two things:
1. It's not a big deal and the news is causing way too much stir over it, or
2. It's a really big deal and no one seems to care.
I'm not sure which it is, but given option two, it could be a situation that warrants a bit more caution. Remember, gang, caution and panic are NOT the same thing. Oh yeah, they also found another Mad Cow in British Columbia. Maybe we should handle our food a little more carefully. Where's the beef?
Gens Say Rumsfeld Should Fold
Bird Flu on the Atlantic
Rummy the Dummy
Six Generals are now calling for the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld, the United States Secretary of Defense. Of course I picked up a New York Times this morning when I saw the headline "More Retired Generals Call For Rumsfeld's Resignation." How could one resist? For all of you with those "Support Our Troops" magnets on the backs of your vehicles, paired with a W '04 sticker, read very VERY carefully:
"My sincere view is that the commitment of our forces to this fight was done with a casualness and swagger that are the special province of those who have never had to execute these missions--or bury the results. The troops in the Middle East have performed their duty. Now we need people in Washington who can construct a unified strategy worthy of them."
Words from Lt. General Gregory Newbold, the Director of Operations in the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Cutting words from a man who knows what the war is. Time published these words just a week ago.
Now I return to my intended audience--the supporters of this Administration. You're telling me to support our troops as well as supporting our President and his Cabinet--so I'm telling you that's as easily done as lighting an ice cube on fire. Here's my call to you: support the troops, or support the idiots killing them while they sit at their desks and stand at their podiums repeating the "Freedom isn't free" mantra. Choose carefully, because it can't be both.
When Ashcroft dropped from the cabinet in January 2005, I was praying that Rumsfeld would do the same. Now, with support from the true military leaders, perhaps we'll have another chance.
An Avian Update
Guess what, gang? The dreaded Avian Flu has reached Egypt, Holland, and Scotland...which means that isolated incidents have pushed as far west as the Atlantic Ocean. No one seems to be flipping out too badly. The question is in the lottery of the virus possibly jumping hosts and infecting humans at devastating rates. Given that it's gotten across the biggest land mass in the world without becoming a deep red-alert top-prioirty issue, that means one of two things:
1. It's not a big deal and the news is causing way too much stir over it, or
2. It's a really big deal and no one seems to care.
I'm not sure which it is, but given option two, it could be a situation that warrants a bit more caution. Remember, gang, caution and panic are NOT the same thing. Oh yeah, they also found another Mad Cow in British Columbia. Maybe we should handle our food a little more carefully. Where's the beef?
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
WEEK 3 REVIEW
Ladies and gentlemen, this your WEEK IN REVIEW for the third week of this year, ending January 21st, 2006.
Whither Weather?
If I were...(Vol. 1)
Art: An Introduction
Winter Gets Wheezy--
I'm not one to talk about global warming as if it were the cause of any natural disaster we face, but I'm also not one to say global warming doesn't exist. Here's the deal though--I've never seen a winter this mild. Maybe it's well within the standard deviation, and I just don't know what I'm talking about, but it seems to me that there's been some kind of interesting weather pattern happening from November until today...
Day one: Warm. (60)
Day two: Mild. (50)
Day three: Really Warm. (65)
Day four: Crappy. (45)
Day five: Cold. (20)
Day six: Chilly. (35)
Day seven: Crappy. (45)
Day eight: (GOTO Day one)
I don't really remember this kind of winter. What's really unfair about all this is that the kids here have gotten one snow day for every two weeks of school since December. The other part is that the snow days have been awesome for going outside and digging in the snow.
Every time we got a snow day off, it was usually because we'd die if we went outside, either due to the visibility topping out at around 25 feet, or due to the temperature being cold enough to sustain dry ice. A shout out to my home school district: It could be raining sulphur and ash, and we would get a one hour delay to see if things "cleared up".
CANANDAIGUA CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT:
Q: Meteorologists are calling for the "end of times". What do we do?
A: Send students in for a half day.
DELAWARE VALLEY SCHOOL DISTRICT:
Q: Meteorologists are calling for two inches of sleet (70% chance). What do we do?
A: Batten down the hatches. Caulk the wagons and close the storm shelters. Brothers and Sisters, to your SUV's. We must prepare against the might of nature's wrath, and this hellfire of sleet and slightly melted sleet.
A Bit of Fun--
If I were Dick Cheney:
I would wear vampire teeth and a pirate eyepatch. I would get a tinted contact lens for the other eye (red). Then I would run around the streets of Seattle, Frisco, and New York, terrorizing the general public and screaming "Liberal meat is the MOST TENDER."
As we all know, the good liberals are all fed on organic grain, making for tender, stockier meat.
If I were John McCain:
I would start my own late night talk show. The dude could do it. He looks like a cross between Johnny Carson and Newt Gingerich.
If I were George W.:
I would abdicate my throne, get some kind of straw hat, start plucking a banjo and start up a jug-band in Texarkana. Though I doubt he'd be good at playing the banjo, that wouldn't matter so long as he surrounds himself with the right people. After all, he's not good at running the country, but everyone seems to be okay with him doing that.
If I were Bono:
I would come clean about being the antichrist.
If I were Gov. Schwarzenegger:
I'd start praying to the Altar of Ron Reagan, because it's going to take some expensive Hollywood magic to get California out of that hole.
If I were Gov. Pataki:
I'd start thinking about turning in the State Budget for 2004. I'd also plan to get the budget for 2005 out by 2007. Maybe by 2010, we can start turning in budgets BEFORE the fiscal year ENDS.
If I were Jessica Biel:
I would be relentlessly impure with myself.
If I were Jack White:
I would laugh at everyone who is NOT Jack White.
If I were you:
I wouldn't touch that wire.
Stu the Sage--
I went to college with this dude named Stu.
Stu knew all about all kinds of music, (he was a vocal major, I think) and he brought me to a conclusion about what kind of hip-hop was good. Stu listened to the likes of The Roots, an amalgam of talented lyricists, a real drummer, and of course, Rahzel. (who really wasn't the same kind of awesome unless he was with The Roots. Listening to Rahzel was a lot like eating mashmallow fluff out of the plastic canister. It's a great idea at first, and you love the sweet marshmallowy taste, but eventually you give up, toast some bread and get the peanut butter out--because it just isn't the same without its compliments.)
The point was, The Roots felt their music. You could sway with them because you knew those bastards were in the groove. Usher doesn't make that cut. Usher doesn't feel his music. Usher feels himself. It's a question of which is a greater force in your body-- your own being, or music. Does the music lead, or do you?
Kanye West-- The music leads this dude. Every time I hear hip-hop or a derivative of the type, I ask one question...What would old-school motown gems think of this music? Kanye not only satisfies the requirement of paying homage to his influences, but he's also unapologetic with political stance, real with his self-image, and the man FEELS his music. Kanye gives me hope when I try not to remember names like Nelly, Bubba Sparks, and Usher.
Who am I to judge who feels their music and who doesn't?
I'm the damn audience, chief. I have a duty to criticize the art being delivered to my senses. As creatures of expression, all of us should give a little more thought to what we like and why we like it. When it comes down to it, the reason I like the art I like is passion. I'm not drilled into a particular genre, or even medium of art--
--the point is, when I see passion in it, I like it. It's because there's some kind of sense that the artist cares about what they're doing. Seems cliche? That's because any artist who says "I do it for the music" in an interview probably doesn't.
Anyway, Stu. It was Stu that brought me to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how technically proficient you are, it doesn't matter what you're singing about, what you're writing, or what you're painting.
What does matter is that you're pouring all of yourself into what you do.
Hmm...A little advice for all of us--and I hardly exclude myself.
This has been your WEEK IN REVIEW (though it had nothing to do with the week's news) for the THIRD week in this, the year six and two-thousand.
Whither Weather?
If I were...(Vol. 1)
Art: An Introduction
Winter Gets Wheezy--
I'm not one to talk about global warming as if it were the cause of any natural disaster we face, but I'm also not one to say global warming doesn't exist. Here's the deal though--I've never seen a winter this mild. Maybe it's well within the standard deviation, and I just don't know what I'm talking about, but it seems to me that there's been some kind of interesting weather pattern happening from November until today...
Day one: Warm. (60)
Day two: Mild. (50)
Day three: Really Warm. (65)
Day four: Crappy. (45)
Day five: Cold. (20)
Day six: Chilly. (35)
Day seven: Crappy. (45)
Day eight: (GOTO Day one)
I don't really remember this kind of winter. What's really unfair about all this is that the kids here have gotten one snow day for every two weeks of school since December. The other part is that the snow days have been awesome for going outside and digging in the snow.
Every time we got a snow day off, it was usually because we'd die if we went outside, either due to the visibility topping out at around 25 feet, or due to the temperature being cold enough to sustain dry ice. A shout out to my home school district: It could be raining sulphur and ash, and we would get a one hour delay to see if things "cleared up".
CANANDAIGUA CITY SCHOOL DISTRICT:
Q: Meteorologists are calling for the "end of times". What do we do?
A: Send students in for a half day.
DELAWARE VALLEY SCHOOL DISTRICT:
Q: Meteorologists are calling for two inches of sleet (70% chance). What do we do?
A: Batten down the hatches. Caulk the wagons and close the storm shelters. Brothers and Sisters, to your SUV's. We must prepare against the might of nature's wrath, and this hellfire of sleet and slightly melted sleet.
A Bit of Fun--
If I were Dick Cheney:
I would wear vampire teeth and a pirate eyepatch. I would get a tinted contact lens for the other eye (red). Then I would run around the streets of Seattle, Frisco, and New York, terrorizing the general public and screaming "Liberal meat is the MOST TENDER."
As we all know, the good liberals are all fed on organic grain, making for tender, stockier meat.
If I were John McCain:
I would start my own late night talk show. The dude could do it. He looks like a cross between Johnny Carson and Newt Gingerich.
If I were George W.:
I would abdicate my throne, get some kind of straw hat, start plucking a banjo and start up a jug-band in Texarkana. Though I doubt he'd be good at playing the banjo, that wouldn't matter so long as he surrounds himself with the right people. After all, he's not good at running the country, but everyone seems to be okay with him doing that.
If I were Bono:
I would come clean about being the antichrist.
If I were Gov. Schwarzenegger:
I'd start praying to the Altar of Ron Reagan, because it's going to take some expensive Hollywood magic to get California out of that hole.
If I were Gov. Pataki:
I'd start thinking about turning in the State Budget for 2004. I'd also plan to get the budget for 2005 out by 2007. Maybe by 2010, we can start turning in budgets BEFORE the fiscal year ENDS.
If I were Jessica Biel:
I would be relentlessly impure with myself.
If I were Jack White:
I would laugh at everyone who is NOT Jack White.
If I were you:
I wouldn't touch that wire.
Stu the Sage--
I went to college with this dude named Stu.
Stu knew all about all kinds of music, (he was a vocal major, I think) and he brought me to a conclusion about what kind of hip-hop was good. Stu listened to the likes of The Roots, an amalgam of talented lyricists, a real drummer, and of course, Rahzel. (who really wasn't the same kind of awesome unless he was with The Roots. Listening to Rahzel was a lot like eating mashmallow fluff out of the plastic canister. It's a great idea at first, and you love the sweet marshmallowy taste, but eventually you give up, toast some bread and get the peanut butter out--because it just isn't the same without its compliments.)
The point was, The Roots felt their music. You could sway with them because you knew those bastards were in the groove. Usher doesn't make that cut. Usher doesn't feel his music. Usher feels himself. It's a question of which is a greater force in your body-- your own being, or music. Does the music lead, or do you?
Kanye West-- The music leads this dude. Every time I hear hip-hop or a derivative of the type, I ask one question...What would old-school motown gems think of this music? Kanye not only satisfies the requirement of paying homage to his influences, but he's also unapologetic with political stance, real with his self-image, and the man FEELS his music. Kanye gives me hope when I try not to remember names like Nelly, Bubba Sparks, and Usher.
Who am I to judge who feels their music and who doesn't?
I'm the damn audience, chief. I have a duty to criticize the art being delivered to my senses. As creatures of expression, all of us should give a little more thought to what we like and why we like it. When it comes down to it, the reason I like the art I like is passion. I'm not drilled into a particular genre, or even medium of art--
--the point is, when I see passion in it, I like it. It's because there's some kind of sense that the artist cares about what they're doing. Seems cliche? That's because any artist who says "I do it for the music" in an interview probably doesn't.
Anyway, Stu. It was Stu that brought me to the conclusion that it doesn't matter how technically proficient you are, it doesn't matter what you're singing about, what you're writing, or what you're painting.
What does matter is that you're pouring all of yourself into what you do.
Hmm...A little advice for all of us--and I hardly exclude myself.
This has been your WEEK IN REVIEW (though it had nothing to do with the week's news) for the THIRD week in this, the year six and two-thousand.
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